Keeping all the best stuff in life and leaving the rest!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

A Fish out of Water


A fish out of water
Kicking and screaming
Put me back where I came from
How can I breathe?
How can I swim?
How can I live?

I am waiting now patiently as my gills
Are fluttering on the dock
The sun tightening my skin and scales sticking

I look around out of the side of my head
To see who is there and all I see
is the line leading to home

I am hopeful and watching
Then a panic comes over me
I realize no one is coming
To get me and put me back
I tense up my spine
And flip flop flight
Give it the last good fight
Like the mid life crisis and
Car, the botox, the sudden
Interest in jogging to help the heart beat better.

The fisher man looks at me.
And hits me over the head
Ouch!

I stop and realize the end is near
There is no point in fighting
Besides it feels better not to
To wait

And wonder what is next

I think about the seaweed at the bottom of the lake and all my friends
When we went to school
How we loved to play in those weeds!
We saw shiny things there
And we were told not to look at
The shiny light
Many of our great ancestors had gone,
Simply disappeared, nowhere
To be seen again chasing those shiny things
Hungry for something more
I learned my lesson, stay out of the weeds
But now I find myself kicking and screaming
Sticky scales, breathing out of the side of gills “waiting”
Paralyzed
But wanting to kick and scream
One last time with all my might
I tense all my muscles and
Flip into the cool wet water
Stunned for a moment
I freeze
And then quickly swim away
Vowing never to do that again.

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The past

at this moment pretty good

My photo
Toronto, ON, Canada
Just trying to figure out this life and death thing. Lovin Livin Fully and when I first was diagnosed almost 15 years ago, I learned to say Yes to everything. Now I'm learning how to say No also. Not as easy for me. I'll talk about my journey and maybe I'll write something inspirational through my journey that gives you hope, and strength to follow your heart and to live fully in Love.